“Quincy Todd on Cavemen”
By Roy K. Moulton
. . . "A man was arrested for wife-beating. They put it right into the paper,” says Elias Q. Higginbotham.
“How did he beat her—playing bridge?”
“No, with his fist. And she stood for it, too.”
“Wonders will never cease.”
“The guy was a Jugo-Skihoovian,” says Elias Q Higginbotham, “Some kind of foreigner.”
“It’s a cinch she wasn’t an American woman, either,” says Quincy. “If she was there would be a lot of people walking slow after that guy by this time and please-omitting-flowers.
“I haven’t seen a good case of cave-man stuff pulled off in this country in a good while. If it wasn’t for the movies we would have forgotten them and the Indians twenty years ago.”
“Not that some guys don’t still try it, for they do. Yes, indeed. Quite a lot of them try the rough stuff on the other half of their sketch. Any time you are walking along and see some feller flying out of a third-story window pursued by a cook-stove you will know that he is one of these modern cave-men. Or he is liable to drop suddenly down the dumb-waiter shaft. Most of them are not particular how they get out, but they are darned particular to get out.
“Drop in at any hospital and you can see three or four of the boys who are willing to try anything, even to cave-man stuff, once—but not twice.” [. . .]
Quincy: “The cave-man stuff began to fade out as soon as the country jazzed up a bit. As soon as men began stepping out hither and yon and playing a little poker around and about an such like, the ladies began getting the upper hand and they have been getting it ever since. Just the other day I am reading where a woman professor in the University of California says how this is the wonderful age for woman, and it is growing more wonderful all the time. She is right, and what is worrying me is how we are going to stop them.”
“That don’t worry me,” says Elias Q. Higginbotham. “I stopped worrying about that ten or fifteen years ago. I stopped worrying about that the day my wife went down to the bank and had my bank account changed over into her name.”
[New York American, "A Paper for People Who Think," March 2, 1924, p.6-E]
. . . "A man was arrested for wife-beating. They put it right into the paper,” says Elias Q. Higginbotham.
“How did he beat her—playing bridge?”
“No, with his fist. And she stood for it, too.”
“Wonders will never cease.”
“The guy was a Jugo-Skihoovian,” says Elias Q Higginbotham, “Some kind of foreigner.”
“It’s a cinch she wasn’t an American woman, either,” says Quincy. “If she was there would be a lot of people walking slow after that guy by this time and please-omitting-flowers.
“I haven’t seen a good case of cave-man stuff pulled off in this country in a good while. If it wasn’t for the movies we would have forgotten them and the Indians twenty years ago.”
“Not that some guys don’t still try it, for they do. Yes, indeed. Quite a lot of them try the rough stuff on the other half of their sketch. Any time you are walking along and see some feller flying out of a third-story window pursued by a cook-stove you will know that he is one of these modern cave-men. Or he is liable to drop suddenly down the dumb-waiter shaft. Most of them are not particular how they get out, but they are darned particular to get out.
“Drop in at any hospital and you can see three or four of the boys who are willing to try anything, even to cave-man stuff, once—but not twice.” [. . .]
Quincy: “The cave-man stuff began to fade out as soon as the country jazzed up a bit. As soon as men began stepping out hither and yon and playing a little poker around and about an such like, the ladies began getting the upper hand and they have been getting it ever since. Just the other day I am reading where a woman professor in the University of California says how this is the wonderful age for woman, and it is growing more wonderful all the time. She is right, and what is worrying me is how we are going to stop them.”
“That don’t worry me,” says Elias Q. Higginbotham. “I stopped worrying about that ten or fifteen years ago. I stopped worrying about that the day my wife went down to the bank and had my bank account changed over into her name.”
[New York American, "A Paper for People Who Think," March 2, 1924, p.6-E]
posted by A. Mattson at 10:17 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home