“Can’t Control Parents, Says Unhappy Daughter"

[A letter to Prudence Penny, “famous household economist” and advice columnist for the New York American from an unhappy 19 year old American born girl with strict immigrant parents]

“Sunday Her Day of Tears Because Folks Won’t Let Her Go Out—Disapprove of Friends, So She Must Give Them Up.”

“My folks are of foreign birth, I being born here, and they are very strict. I am different and have American ideas, so you just about guess how I get along with them.”

“Everyone else is going out for a good time and here I am working harder than any other day in the week, with the exception of Sunday afternoon. I can go to a movie show and must be back at six. So you see if I wish to come to New York and see the latest shows, I cannot go, for I have not time. I’ve tried it and what did they tell me when I got home, I arrived at eight o’clock. My daddy’s words were: “Listen here miss, you have enough liberties, and if you don’t wish to forget the way to the movies on Sunday try it once more and I will show you.”

“How I cried. Here I am a big girl and they will not trust me. But, oh, they trusted me in the morning everyday to work. Daddy says, “That’s different. If you want to break your neck, you may, for people can’t say anything to me, for I have tried my best.” [. . .]

“Now, Mother Prudence, what girl would wish to do harm to her own self? Then again there is no fear, for my boy friends are boys that are honored and highly thought of. I have often had plain talks with my parents saying “He that pulls the string too much is bound to break it,” and this is the reply:

“If you are not satisfied with this life get married and I have washed my hands of you, then you can do as you please, for it is then your husband’s lookout.”
“Many times I think, how much longer can I stand this?
[. . .]

“I have tried every way to make my parents see that they are doing wrong in being so strict and that they will feel sorry. Instead, they say that if there is anyone to feel sorry it will be me, but I doubt it.
BROKEN HEART

[From Prudence Penny’s Response to BROKEN HEART:]

“Your parents are people with deeply ingrained ideas and customs, entirely foreign to ours. It is pretty hard to change people, and well nigh impossible when they are middle aged. According to his lights, your father is doing what he thinks is right, in protecting you. I think he throws a rather deep reflection on his country and his own youth, when he see danger for you in these trifles. But those are his firmly rooted ideas, and you have found that you can’t talk him out of them so you must either submit , or declare yourself. [. . .]

But I think all your threats are just a little hysteria and dramatics, and you actually are trustworthy. So here is my advice: You are of age, and self-supporting. I presume you pay something at home, at least I hope so, for that will make it easier. You have have no desire to disgrace yourself or your family, you merely want to have the normal good times that are your due. Just tell your father that you are going to New York to a matinee when you wish, and that you are going out in the evenings with your friends now and then. You intend to behave yourself, and are certainly as concerned with your welfare as he is—in fact his chief concern seems what people think, and to protect your reputation so that you will be a good marriage risk.

“You are fond of your parents, and don’t want to hurt them, but they must realize that this another country and another generation. As a self-supporting free citizen, you are going to get some pleasure and freedom out of life, and they can do as they see fit about it.”

[New York American, February 7, 1924, p.13.]